The Tested and Proven Biblical Principles to Make Marriage Work
Marriage, a sacred union ordained by God, is designed to reflect His love for His people. The Bible offers timeless principles that, when followed, ensure the success and happiness of this union. In contrast to many modern ideologies that may falter under the weight of human imperfections such as greed, anger, selfishness, and discontentment, biblical principles provide a solid foundation. This article explores these principles, illustrating how they can be practically applied to foster a healthy and thriving marriage.
Foundation of Love
The cornerstone of a successful marriage is love. The Bible describes love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
These verses outline the qualities of love that should be the bedrock of every marriage. Patience, kindness, humility, and forgiveness are essential in nurturing a loving relationship.
Practical Steps
- Practice Patience: Allow your partner time to grow and develop.
- Show Kindness: Perform small acts of kindness daily.
- Avoid Envy and Pride: Celebrate your partner’s successes as your own.
- Forgive Easily: Let go of grudges and forgive quickly.
Commitment and Covenant
Marriage is not just a contract but a covenant. In Malachi 2:14, it states:
“The LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.”
A covenant is a solemn, binding agreement before God. This level of commitment ensures that couples stay together through thick and thin.
Practical Steps
- Renew Your Vows: Regularly remind each other of your commitment.
- Seek Counseling: When facing difficulties, seek advice from a pastor or Christian counselor.
- Pray Together: Regular prayer strengthens the marital bond.
Mutual Respect
Ephesians 5:33 emphasizes the importance of respect in marriage:
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Mutual respect fosters a healthy and supportive environment. Each partner should value the other’s opinions, feelings, and needs.
Practical Steps
- Listen Actively: Show genuine interest in your partner’s thoughts and feelings.
- Honor Each Other: Speak highly of your spouse in private and public.
- Support Aspirations: Encourage and support each other’s goals and dreams.
Forgiveness and Grace
Forgiveness is a cornerstone of the Christian faith and is vital in marriage. Colossians 3:13 advises:
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Couples must extend grace to each other, understanding that both will make mistakes.
Practical Steps
- Apologize Sincerely: When wrong, admit it and apologize.
- Forgive Freely: Don’t hold past mistakes over your partner’s head.
- Practice Grace: Extend understanding and compassion in difficult times.
Effective Communication
Clear and honest communication is crucial for any relationship. James 1:19 provides wisdom:
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
Effective communication involves active listening, thoughtful responses, and managing emotions.
Practical Steps
- Set Aside Time: Dedicate time daily for meaningful conversation.
- Practice Active Listening: Focus on understanding rather than responding.
- Use “I” Statements: Express feelings using “I” statements to avoid blame.
Servant Leadership and Submission
Ephesians 5:21-25 outlines a balanced approach to leadership and submission:
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord… Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
This principle emphasizes mutual submission and servant leadership, where each partner puts the other’s needs above their own.
Practical Steps
- Serve Each Other: Look for ways to serve your spouse daily.
- Respect Roles: Honor the biblical roles within marriage.
- Lead with Love: Husbands should lead with love and self-sacrifice.
Faith and Spiritual Growth
A strong marriage is built on a shared faith and commitment to spiritual growth. 2 Corinthians 6:14 warns:
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.”
Couples should be united in their faith, encouraging each other in their spiritual walk.
Practical Steps
- Attend Church Together: Regularly participate in church activities.
- Study the Bible Together: Dedicate time for joint Bible study.
- Pray Together: Make prayer a daily habit as a couple.
Financial Stewardship
Managing finances wisely is crucial for marital stability. Proverbs 21:20 states:
“The wise store up choice food and olive oil, but fools gulp theirs down.”
Financial stewardship involves budgeting, saving, and giving.
Practical Steps
- Create a Budget: Plan and track your expenses.
- Save Regularly: Build an emergency fund and save for the future.
- Give Generously: Support your church and charitable causes.
Conjugal Intimacy
The Bible encourages conjugal intimacy within marriage. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 advises:
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband… Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
COnjugal intimacy strengthens the bond between spouses and should be nurtured.
Practical Steps
- Prioritize Intimacy: Make time for physical closeness.
- Communicate Needs: Openly discuss needs and desires.
- Respect Boundaries: Honor each other’s comfort levels and boundaries.
Raising Godly Children
Children are a blessing from the Lord, and raising them in a godly manner is a significant responsibility. Proverbs 22:6 instructs:
“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”
Parents should model Christian values and teach their children about God.
Practical Steps
- Model Faith: Live out your faith authentically in front of your children.
- Teach Scripture: Incorporate Bible stories and verses into daily life.
- Pray Together: Pray with and for your children regularly.
Conclusion
Biblical principles provide a proven framework for a successful and fulfilling marriage. By building a foundation of love, commitment, respect, forgiveness, communication, servant leadership, faith, financial stewardship, conjugal intimacy, and raising godly children, couples can create a marriage that not only survives but thrives.
References
- The Holy Bible, New International Version.
- Chapman, Gary. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. Northfield Publishing, 1992.
- Eggerichs, Emerson. Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs. Thomas Nelson, 2004.
- Keller, Timothy. The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God. Penguin Books, 2011.
